


It Drives Me Crazy: An Ode to Remus' Mustache

by RJLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Comedy, Filk, Gen, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Third Year, Humor, Inspired by a Movie, Mustaches, Parody, Reviews, Ridiculous, Shaving, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, Spears, crackfic, oldfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2247324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Near the end of 2003, I wrote my first (pretty terrible) song filk. I was young, and just discovered that in the movie version of my favorite book, Prisoner of Azkaban, my favorite character, Remus Lupin, was going to have a mustache. I was not pleased. So naturally, I vented my feelings to the tune of Britney Spears' "You Drive Me Crazy."</p><p>It drives me crazy<br/>I just can't sleep<br/>That mustache on you<br/>It makes me freak</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Drives Me Crazy: An Ode to Remus' Mustache

**Author's Note:**

> This is a song filk to the tune of Britney Spear's "Crazy (You Drive Me). I wrote it in 2003 and it's pretty terrible because I was about 12. Since this was my first filk, most of the lyrics do not fit in properly, but rather than rewrite it all to fix that, I've decided to leave it be as a memento to my young self.
> 
> For the record, years later, I've gotten used to the mustache. (And clearly the makeup team must have read this song, because in all the other movies Remus' mustache looks way better. Hah)

Remus  
You're such a nice one  
You're so smart and your homework's always done  
Remus  
You're a lycanthrope  
It's totally cool though, that's why I don't grope

Let me get right to the case  
And don't you tell me that I'm way off base  
What really drives me out of space  
Is that stupid frickin' mustache on your face!

It drives me crazy  
I just can't sleep  
That mustache on you  
It makes me freak  
Oh, crazy  
The mustache isn't right  
I'm hopin' that you'll shave it right off tonight

Remus  
I know this at least  
Every full moon you transform into a beast  
So Remus  
This question seems fair  
If you become a hairy wolf then why do you want more hair?

What really drives me out of space  
Is that stupid frickin' mustache on your face!

It drives me crazy  
I just can't sleep  
That mustache on you  
It makes me freak  
Oh, crazy  
The mustache isn't right  
I'm hopin' that you'll shave it right off tonight

Mustache  
Please do not keep  
I hate it so much, that I can't sleep  
Remus  
I think that you're cute  
But that mustache needs the boot

It drives me crazy  
It drives me crazy, Remus  
That mustache on you  
It makes me freak  
Oh, crazy  
The mustache isn't right  
I'm hopin' that you'll shave it right off tonight

It drives me crazy  
It drives me crazy Remus  
Oh, crazy  
The mustache isn't right  
I'm hopin' that you'll shave it right off tonight

 

I'm hopin' that you'll shave it right off tonight


End file.
